13 weeks ago, I left you. I had no idea that I would be leaving you for so long. I thought for sure I would be back the following week for another update, describing how impatient I have grown, how dilated I am (of course you want to know all the little details), and new belly pics exposing my super sized midsection. I had no idea how much my life would change the following week after that last post. Since then, my life has morphed into something I don't think I even have enough words to describe to you, Dear Reader. I can tell you this, unless you have a child of your own, you will never truly understand what I have experienced. I know, I know. I sound like an old woman lecturing their offspring about the reality of growing up and understanding life. But it is an honest statement. If you have a baby, you just get it.
As I sit here and type, my 12 pound, sweet, innocent, handsome baby boy is peacefully snoozing away in his Lambie Swing (a Godsent). He can swing in that bad boy until the cows come home...whatever that means. But you catch my drift. He LOVES swinging! Chase Michael Desmond was placed in my arms at 6:42pm on Monday November 9, 2009. It was the happiest day of my life. The second best day being the day I married my devilishly handsome husband, which is how we got into this situation in the first place. Anyways, back to my little man's big day.
My mother had stayed with us for a few nights since my Dad was out of town. It was Sunday night and we had watched movie after movie. I ate countless bags of popcorn and crushed several cans of ginger ale. Sprinkle a bunch of Halloween candy in there, and that was my last night before becoming a mother. As you know,I had been experiencing tons of false labor. We counted the contractions but it was nothing out of the ordinary at that point. We went to bed around midnight. I could not sleep to save my life. My contractions were becoming a little stronger as each hour went by. It was like nothing like I had ever felt before. It got to the point where I woke Matt up and told him that I felt strange. So we pulled out the IPhone and started tracking my contractions. ( ::side note:: those who are expecting, download the app for Contraction Master. It is awesome! You all knew I am ADD, right? If not, you sure as heck now know as I drift into other thoughts as I tell stories). Ok, so back to my contractions! This went on until about 3am when I stood up to use the restroom for the millionth time. As I rose out of bed, I felt a trickle. I got chills up and down my whole body as I wondered, "Could this be it? Is this my water breaking?" I opened my mouth to tell Matt what happened, and more trickled! This was it! It had to be! As this is happening, we hear my mother at 3am, making coffee in the kitchen. She must have sensed the big day was finally here. She has ESP like that. We scramble around gathering our hospital bag and pillows just like you see in the movies. We have been "prepared and packed" since 32 weeks, yet somehow when the real moment finally arrived, we ran around like chickens with their heads cut off! My mom squealed with excitement like a child on Christmas morning. I don't think I have ever seen that woman so alert that early in the morning. The three of us piled into my Honda Pilot and headed to Shady Grove Hospital at 4am on a Monday morning. During the 15 minutes it took to drive there, my contractions were growing much stronger. We were admitted immediately since my water had already broken. We couldn't believe we were finally about to meet our baby boy.
We called Matt's mom (Betty Lou aka BL) and my Dad to tell them the news. My Dad was in Clemson, SC and would need to catch a flight home A.S.A.P. BL headed straight to the hospital since she lives in Gettysburg and the awful rush hour traffic was due to begin within an hour or two. The nurses and doctor urged me to receive my epidural as soon as I started to feel the slightest discomfort. I wanted to hold off for as long as possible because a) I was scared to death of the epidural. I was more scared of that than actually pushing a 7-8 pound human out and b) I wanted to experience real labor contractions for as long as possible. You only do this a few times in your life. I was strangely curious about the pain level that everyone talks about. So I waited a few hours and endured some pretty strong contractions (or so I thought at that point). So we went ahead and called the anesthesiologist. He told me to bend over clenching a pillow and to keep my spine rounded. Oh yeah, and to pretty much stop breathing as he stuck me with the largest needle I have ever laid my eyes on. In my mind, one small flinch, and I would for sure be paralyzed for life. End of story. So I held my breath, squeezed the nurses hands with my sweaty paws, and prayed to God. Matt sat in the chair in front of me so he wouldn't see the needle. He gets a little weak in the knees around this sort of thing. Guess what? IT BARELY HURT! It felt like a lousy bee sting followed by the greatest warm and tingly sensation all over my whole body. It was a rush of relief minutes after injection. In fact, I felt so warm and fuzzy, I pulled out my gallon size Ziploc bag of MAC cosmetics and made myself over. A new Mom's gotta be ready to meet her little man, right? As I applied my makeup my mom and BL sat and talked and talked...and talked. Those two can chit chat all day long. And then some. Finally, feeling bad about it, we asked them to go in the waiting room. Ha. I felt guilty, but I needed some time to mentally prepare myself for the birth of our baby boy. I was starting to get butterflies in my tummy. I think I was finally realizing that the moment we have all been waiting for was finally here and I wanted to take it all in with my husband.
Matt and I tested out the epidural pump by pressing the button a few times to see how good I could feel. I was so scared to "OD" on the epi. Ha. Imagine that. The Pitocin drip started and HOLY HELL. It was labor time. The pain became pretty damn strong! Matt kept pressing the button the my epidural drip until we reached the maximum amount. That wasn't cutting it so I requested more pain relief. They injected an extra dose of the epidural and WHAM! I was numb from my chin to my toes. It was awful. I went from one extreme to another. I couldn't feel my chest rise and fall with each breath. I couldn't feel anything. When I put my hand on my chest or leg, it felt like I was touching someone else's body. It was awful. I hated every single second of it. I complained to Matt and the doctor begging them to make it go away. I would rather have pain then feel this numb. I felt claustrophobic, like I couldn't breathe. The doctor told me that it was going to have to just wear off on it's own. I had no choice but to deal with it. Eventually, after a few hours, it wore off. And when I tell you it wore off, it disappeared completely. There was no in between. We asked then to start up the epi drip again. Well, too late! I literally went from 100% numb all over, to totally feeling everything. NOTHING could relieve the pain I started to have with each contraction. The Pitocin was flowing and I was experiencing painful contractions every flipping 2 minutes with each contraction being a minute long. It was sort of like that feeling of when you are in the ocean, trying to swim to shore, with giant waves coming one after another. You can't catch your breath in time for the next one and you feel like you are drowning. Ok, imagine that, BUT A BILLION TIMES WORSE!
I finally met the "show" that everyone tells you about. I also began to vomit after every contraction. That was fun. The nurse smiled as she warned me, "Oh, Honey! Hang on tight, you are in your transition now!" For those of you who don't know what that means, it is the most intense part of your labor. It involves nausea, vomiting, cold and hot sweats, chills, and trembling all wrapped up with a big shiny bow. Just. For. You. I must say, Matt was the best! He put a cold wash cloth over my head every few minutes and held a bucket for me to hurl in. Ha. That is love at its finest, Folks. He cheered me on and coached me with my breathing. He would watch the screen and count down to the end of each contraction which made it more bearable. He was perfect in every way. He knew when to back off and when to hold my hand. He just knew how to take care of me during the toughest challenge of our lives.
Once Chase's head started crowning, it was go time. I didn't want to waste a single second of precious pushing time. I wanted to get down to business! I barely breathed in between pushes. I used every contraction to my advantage. I did not want to rest. I wanted to meet Chase once and for all. I beared down and pushed with everything I have inside of me. That is about the only good thing about being able to feel everything (even if you do endure the worst pain of your life), is that you know when to push and you can feel the progress you are making. Which in return, encourages you to get through it. The doctor kept telling me I could rest if I wanted. The hell with that, lady! They all coach you to push for 10 counts, I was pushing for 12 counts each and every time. I was determined to get this baby out!
Once his head and one shoulder was out, the doctor seemed alarmed. She said that his other shoulder was stuck and she was going to have to do an episiotomy. Since I could feel everything, she asked my permission first, which I thought was pretty courteous of her. I agreed, of course. What choice did I have? I held my breath as she did it. And then with a few more strong pushes, I did it! After sixteen hours of labor, one hour of rigorous pushing, the worst pain of my life, a second degree tear, Mr. Chase Michael Desmond was born into this world! He was finally here! He let out the sweetest cry I have ever heard in my life. We knew he was here safe and sound.
As they swooped him away to clear his throat, clean him off, and take his measurements, I saw my mom and BL crying with joy! They were in there the WHOLE TIME! I had no idea. They stood near the curtain where the door is and watched the whole thing. Oh well. I think somewhere around the vomiting, I lost all modesty. So in the end, I am kind of glad they got watch the birth of their grandson. What a tender experience.
I definitely made quite the impression on my doctor and the nurse staff. As the doc was performing the cross stitch down there, I asked her if my second baby would be easier to push out since I am no longer a rookie. She told me that she has NEVER had a new mother even entertain the idea of going through all of this over again, especially as they were being stitched back up. What can I say, I like a challenge! I was on top of the world.
Chase weighed in at 7 pounds, 12 ounces and was 20.5 inches long. The doctor mentioned that he was probably actually older in gestational age because he had already lost his vernix. Who would have thought I would have an overdue baby at the end of this whole saga? I am so blessed to have a healthy baby boy. I would do this over and over and over again for him. It was an amazing experience. One that I am eager to do all over again for a second baby. Don't worry. One is enough for right now. It is interesting to me that a mother can go through something so agonizing, yet we choose to do it several more times. I would not wish this pain on my worst enemy. It is that painful. However, it is also so empowering and liberating. I honestly feel like I can accomplish anything in this world after growing a human being inside of me for 10 months and then giving birth pretty much naturally.
Here are a few pics of Chase's hat, blanket, and wrist bands that were set out moments before he was born. Talk about exciting! As the nurses put all of this on the table, it made us realize that there was going to be a little person wearing those soon enough:
And now, here are some fresh out of the oven pics:
Hello, World!
I'm a big boy!
